Two things about this blog post: One...it comes with a trigger warning, including self-harm talk and some information that may be triggering for people with sexual trauma. Two...I was a little all over the place writing this. Stick with it for me; it was information I was excited to share, to maybe provide a little … Continue reading Pain, Pleasure, and Massage: A Practice in Meditation and Dual Awareness
Rupture and Repair…Again
In truth, I wrote this at the beginning of March, but I did not actually post it until a month later. So, when I talk about specific days, know that you are reading a month behind! I have been reading a lot and taking an intensive class to become a Certified Personal Trainer. It is … Continue reading Rupture and Repair…Again
It Hurts, But It’s Still Possible
In a recent social media post, I wrote this: In high school, while running cross country, I knew about 'mental toughness.' I'm realizing as I get older that I am somehow losing that. So, the other day I was attempting dumbbell floor press to failure and kept thinking 'it hurts, but it's still possible.' Today, … Continue reading It Hurts, But It’s Still Possible
Here’s A Secret For You
This comes with a trigger warning. In here, I hint at self-harm/suicide, and I discuss sex, sex therapy, and sexual trauma. I have been withholding information. The reason? I'm not sure. A good portion is shame, but that isn't it. It could be that I am still trying to figure out if this is my … Continue reading Here’s A Secret For You
Death in 2026?
Photo by Markus Winkler on Pexels.com I started the New Year by reading about and focusing on death. It's not because I am dying, preparing for someone else to die, or trying to deal with a past death, though I suppose all of those things are technically also true. Everyone close to me knows I … Continue reading Death in 2026?
She Isn’t Me
All of my blog posts are vulnerable, but this one feels even moreso. You see, I have been writing, but I had no intention of continuing my blog. I was really hurting, and I didn't want anyone to see that any more than was necessary (because that feels weak), and I didn't want anyone to … Continue reading She Isn’t Me
I’m Sorry
This is my apology to you all. I started writing for myself several years ago, but I also wanted to maybe bring hope to someone else. If you want to stay in that hopeful place, stop reading this now. Close the window, and keep doing your work. If you choose not to close the window … Continue reading I’m Sorry
Cookies
I grew up in an evangelical Christian home. Although Catholics tend to be the primary ones who adhere to the idea of giving something up for Lent, my family also chose to follow this tradition. Every year, for the 40 days leading up to Easter, each member of my family would give something up. Honestly, … Continue reading Cookies
What Would Life Be Like?
"What would life be like if [that one person] didn't still hold all the space in your life?" Dr. C. asked me to think about that question and write about it. I originally told her I have no imagination, and I was pretty sure, as I said that, that there was no way I would … Continue reading What Would Life Be Like?
“Write About That”
Dr. C. ended our session by telling me to write about how I don't feel as though I deserve to feel upset about what happened because I "just need to take responsibility." So, I wrote about it for the next session. I wrote about it to better understand what I was experiencing and feeling. I … Continue reading “Write About That”
Burn the Boat! 