Bacon is not a food I enjoy making. Grease spits everywhere! Before I am done frying the package, the skin on my arms is blotchy with burn marks, my clothes are spotted with grease stains, and the walls and stovetop need to be wiped down. One night, not that long ago, I had already mixed … Continue reading Sparkling Cider

Photo by Lisa on Pexels.com Connecting with Others My time in Utah set me up to be successful with my 2021 intention to “engage.” The EMDR work I began with my therapist shortly after returning from Utah challenged me to continue to engage at the level I had been while away. My relationships with others … Continue reading Engage: Year-in-Review

Photo by Gerrie van der Walt on Unsplash I've been thinking about failure a lot lately. More specifically, I have been thinking about how I am a failure. Does anyone remember my run-in with Cognitive Processing Therapy in late 2019? I do. I made it to the halfway mark in the process and had to … Continue reading I Failed

Photo Credit: Brett Jordan, Unsplash     Outer Chaos   My house needs to be cleaned, laundry needs to be done (sheets, towels, and clothes), bills need to be paid, checkbook needs to be balanced, the menu needs to be made, a grocery store run needs to be done, and animals need to be taken … Continue reading Chaos and Freedom

  Involve, participate, draw into, interlock, commit, show up, and/or connect. Those were the words I used when I announced my 2021 intention to engage. Specifically, I wanted to engage by working on three goals: Avoid using humor for the purpose of escaping discomfortTalk about difficult things, honestlyFeel the things I don't want to feel … Continue reading I Will Do It Better Than Before

Photo Credit: Keagan Henman, Unsplash (edited) Weeks of hard work passed with me sitting in Matt's Tuesday groups wondering how I could start to heal. I asked him for help with my mind mapping - a practice he uses to process different thoughts (and the shame associated with those thoughts). My volunteerism occurred before I … Continue reading Tuesday Tears

Photo Credit: CLAS Ropes Course and Canoe Rental, Provo, UT I’d like to think I was compared to Robbie Knievel the other day, but I guess I should admit that my therapist was actually comparing the process of EMDR to Robbie Knievel's famous Grand Canyon jump (start at 35:35). Her analogy: Robbie used the throttle perfectly to … Continue reading Challenge By Choice

Matt and I spent very little time together when we were younger. He was older than I was and probably had no interest in an annoying snot-nosed little sister, but nevertheless, I thought he was awesome and did everything he said or did. He enlisted in the Air Force when he was seventeen, and several … Continue reading Chainsaws, Chili Cheese Dogs, and a Mountain Dew

I have been without a hat for months at a time because, for various reasons, most hospitals and residential facilities don't allow people to wear them, but Annie's House did not have a policy like that. Without a doubt, my hat came with me to Utah. It has literally been everywhere I have been for … Continue reading When I'm Not Hiding, I Am Living