Photo by Raphaël Cubertafon on Unsplash Let’s talk for a moment about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. At the expense of my son’s future dignity, I will reveal that he watched several episodes and a movie recently, and that provided me with the small amount of information I have here. The Power Rangers were not … Continue reading Power Rangers and Parts
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Self-Compassion Is Difficult
Self-compassion is difficult. I remember the negative things I have said or done, and those things become who I am. Each and every poor decision, unkind word spoken—or not, embarrassing moment, or thought provides me with proof that I am a loathsome human. Except, am I? The little three-year-old Becks I saw in the mirror … Continue reading Self-Compassion Is Difficult
The Heavy Bag
Photo by Milo Bunnik on Unsplash Last night I couldn’t sleep. For some reason, I kept thinking about a punching bag—one I had beaten for close to 10 minutes straight without a break. When I couldn’t possibly throw another punch, I held the heavy bag. When I say I held it, I mean I flat-out … Continue reading The Heavy Bag
The Lion and the Elephant
Have you ever read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho? It is an incredibly popular book and highly recommended, yet when I looked at my Goodreads account, I noticed it had only 3.9 stars. Why? Mostly because it was a self-help fiction book with patriarchal undertones, according to the reviews. If you look past that, I … Continue reading The Lion and the Elephant
Reset and Recommit
Have you ever set a boundary you were proud of only to be guilted about your decision? That happened to me, and shame wrapped its tendrils around my limbic system (for those who like to nerd out like me: the part of the brain that controls behavioral and emotional responses; hippocampus and amygdala, with a … Continue reading Reset and Recommit
Please Send Help. I am LOST.
I am going to do my best here. My physical health right this minute feels a bit like a metaphor to what is also my current emotional condition. First, a little information on my physical health. For several months, but more noticeably since the end of March, I have been sick. I saw my primary … Continue reading Please Send Help. I am LOST.
Life Is Messy
It happens to everyone, I am quite sure. The inability to think not just linearly but with any sort of focus. I have gone through these phases probably most noticeable to others when I am depressed or physically off - maybe, or generally, a combination of both. The perfect people out there may only notice … Continue reading Life Is Messy
Nobody
My maternal grandmother was a force to be reckoned with. She scared me when I was a child, and she lives in my head now. Don't get me wrong, I have pleasant memories of my grandmother. This post is not about pleasant memories though. It is about torment. I wanted to take up space, to … Continue reading Nobody
Darkness
Disclaimer (Not that I need one): I promised to write. It isn’t the story I wanted to share. I wanted to write about my grandma’s last words to me. Or maybe I could have told you about a unique skill I developed in 6th grade. Or even a progress report on my intention for 2022. … Continue reading Darkness
Geriatric Wheelchair Races and Talking About Sex Have Something In Common
I went to a “geriatrics” Sadie Hawkins New Years event in college and donned my 1970’s polyester peach pantsuit that a floormate had brought back to the dorm in a large black trash bag after helping an older woman clean out her closet. With black bowling style shoes, makeup overdone, and hair dusted with baby … Continue reading Geriatric Wheelchair Races and Talking About Sex Have Something In Common
Burn the Boat! 