In high school I ran cross-country and track and played soccer. My perfectionistic tendencies made me as good as I was. I worked hard and played harder. By the start of high school I had always dreamed of playing soccer but never had the opportunity. When tryouts started I was recovering from ankle surgery the … Continue reading Never Enough

During the most difficult time of year, the coldest months, some animals hibernate. Bats hibernate in the winter by finding an abandoned area and going into a state of torpor. This is where most bodily functions are slowed down to help them regulate their temperature. They can drop their heart rate down to as low … Continue reading Hibernation

In 1980, Coach Herb Brooks led the U.S. hockey team to a victory over the seemingly unbeatable Russian team. In the movie Miracle, Herb pushes his team to trust the process and each other by repeatedly having them skate sprints after a tough loss. This was to teach them they could work together, trust each … Continue reading Trust the Process

Heart disease is sometimes very subtle. It might start out with mild shortness of breath and fatigue that goes mostly unnoticed. I see a cardiologist once a year because of a medication I am on that can cause cardiomyopathy, or a hardening of the heart making it difficult for the heart to pump oxygenated blood … Continue reading When Shame Wins

When I lived with my brother I helped him cut trees down and split wood for the wood burning stove (the only source of heat in the old farmhouse we lived in). One day as Matt was dropping a tree it was my job to watch to let him know to jump out of the … Continue reading Shame Had No Place

My therapist recently asked me about vulnerability and shame; what it means to me now and the relationship I want to have with it in the future. It felt really relevant because I had just read two books by Brene Brown, the shame and vulnerability researcher. I have the same relationship with talking about my … Continue reading Vulnerability

I was talking with my son a little while ago about intense feelings that he described as something much more than sadness. He was saying that older people don't feel things as strongly as kids do. He was getting picked on in school for having a crush on a neighbor girl and was feeling the … Continue reading Emotions and Numbing