“Coat and shoes,” I repeat for the fifth time. This time I think he processes it because he grabs his shoes, but only one shoe goes on. Ian gives a voice to his random thoughts as he sets his other shoe down. “Mom, did you know that in Minecraft the axolotl…” I am trying to … Continue reading A Snapshot
2022 Intention Part Two: Open Chest, Breathe, Open Mind
The depth of my self-reflections and recent individual experiences have been a long time in the making. For that reason, I cannot rush into sharing my intention. What I can do is share pieces of revelations and growth to get both of us there. Mindfulness Meditation, Teachers, and the Breath Mindfulness, as defined by Jon … Continue reading 2022 Intention Part Two: Open Chest, Breathe, Open Mind
2022 Intention Part One: Lists of Eight
In November 2021 I excitedly told my therapist it had been nearly one year since I self-harmed. Just a few months before, I was convinced I would not make it to the 365-day mark, but with only twenty days left, I knew I could tough it out if needed. There was an element of pride … Continue reading 2022 Intention Part One: Lists of Eight
Sparkling Cider
Bacon is not a food I enjoy making. Grease spits everywhere! Before I am done frying the package, the skin on my arms is blotchy with burn marks, my clothes are spotted with grease stains, and the walls and stovetop need to be wiped down. One night, not that long ago, I had already mixed … Continue reading Sparkling Cider
Engage: Year-in-Review
Photo by Lisa on Pexels.com Connecting with Others My time in Utah set me up to be successful with my 2021 intention to “engage.” The EMDR work I began with my therapist shortly after returning from Utah challenged me to continue to engage at the level I had been while away. My relationships with others … Continue reading Engage: Year-in-Review
Happy
I was eating my breakfast at the table one morning when my son walked up and sat down next to me. I smiled and greeted him. “Good morning, Cutie.” “Did you just call me Kitty?” “No. I said, ‘good morning, Cutie’.” How often have the things I have done or said been misinterpreted by others? … Continue reading Happy
I Failed
Photo by Gerrie van der Walt on Unsplash I've been thinking about failure a lot lately. More specifically, I have been thinking about how I am a failure. Does anyone remember my run-in with Cognitive Processing Therapy in late 2019? I do. I made it to the halfway mark in the process and had to … Continue reading I Failed
Chaos and Freedom
Photo Credit: Brett Jordan, Unsplash Outer Chaos My house needs to be cleaned, laundry needs to be done (sheets, towels, and clothes), bills need to be paid, checkbook needs to be balanced, the menu needs to be made, a grocery store run needs to be done, and animals need to be taken … Continue reading Chaos and Freedom
I Will Do It Better Than Before
Involve, participate, draw into, interlock, commit, show up, and/or connect. Those were the words I used when I announced my 2021 intention to engage. Specifically, I wanted to engage by working on three goals: Avoid using humor for the purpose of escaping discomfortTalk about difficult things, honestlyFeel the things I don't want to feel … Continue reading I Will Do It Better Than Before
Tuesday Tears
Photo Credit: Keagan Henman, Unsplash (edited) Weeks of hard work passed with me sitting in Matt's Tuesday groups wondering how I could start to heal. I asked him for help with my mind mapping - a practice he uses to process different thoughts (and the shame associated with those thoughts). My volunteerism occurred before I … Continue reading Tuesday Tears
Burn the Boat! 