Common to all humanity, at least in my opinion, is the struggle to avoid pain. This includes avoiding the pain that can heal us as well. I dropped a 45lb plate on my big toe a few years ago. That toenail eventually fell off. As it started to grow back, I dropped a tractor tire … Continue reading Mindfulness: Allow It
Compassion
Mindfulness: Judgment
The definition of mindfulness, according to Jon Kabat-Zinn, is "paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally." The opposite of judgment is compassion. In my opinion, there are many roads that lead to compassion, but the one I am finding that has not failed me is the road of curiosity. Curiosity is a willingness … Continue reading Mindfulness: Judgment
Suicide
In February, I read David Foster Wallace’s commencement speech at Kenyon College, entitled This is Water. Wallace told a story at the beginning of the book about two fish that were swimming along when they passed an older fish. The older fish said, “how’s the water?” The two other fish questioned each other about what … Continue reading Suicide
I Needed The “Luckiest Girl Alive”
I understand the importance of trigger warnings for people. I really do. We owe it to survivors of traumatic situations to put a trigger warning on things, but as someone who has experienced some traumatic situations, I need the debate to be less about an attempt to sensor material and more about sensitivity to those … Continue reading I Needed The “Luckiest Girl Alive”
Power Rangers and Parts
Photo by Raphaël Cubertafon on Unsplash Let’s talk for a moment about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. At the expense of my son’s future dignity, I will reveal that he watched several episodes and a movie recently, and that provided me with the small amount of information I have here. The Power Rangers were not … Continue reading Power Rangers and Parts
Self-Compassion Is Difficult
Self-compassion is difficult. I remember the negative things I have said or done, and those things become who I am. Each and every poor decision, unkind word spoken—or not, embarrassing moment, or thought provides me with proof that I am a loathsome human. Except, am I? The little three-year-old Becks I saw in the mirror … Continue reading Self-Compassion Is Difficult
Life Is Messy
It happens to everyone, I am quite sure. The inability to think not just linearly but with any sort of focus. I have gone through these phases probably most noticeable to others when I am depressed or physically off - maybe, or generally, a combination of both. The perfect people out there may only notice … Continue reading Life Is Messy
2022 Intention Part One: Lists of Eight
In November 2021 I excitedly told my therapist it had been nearly one year since I self-harmed. Just a few months before, I was convinced I would not make it to the 365-day mark, but with only twenty days left, I knew I could tough it out if needed. There was an element of pride … Continue reading 2022 Intention Part One: Lists of Eight
Burn the Boat! 