Three (3) years. Thirty-six (36) months. One hundred fifty-six (156) weeks. One thousand ninety-five (1,095) days. Twenty-six thousand two hundred ninety-eight (26,289) hours. One million five hundred seventy-six thousand eight hundred (1,576,800) minutes. Ninety-four million six hundred eight thousand (94,608,000) seconds. This is how long it has been since I have self-harmed. Three years out … Continue reading Three > Thirty
complex trauma
One: Challenges
One of the things I value about myself is my grit. Sure, there are times when I throw in the towel for hours, days, weeks, or even months, but I always come back and tackle whatever obstacle is in front of me with greater resolve. Each challenge creates in me a sense of strength and … Continue reading One: Challenges
“Bump!”
Courage and Fear When my brother was in the military, just after 9/11, he stood on the coast of Djibouti with his commander. The commander pointed toward Yemen and discussed a larger mission. Essentially, my brother would be dropped off in the Middle East to work with locals to form their own army to fight … Continue reading “Bump!”
Mostly? Incredible Summer
If you follow me on social media, you have probably been aware of my incredible summer. I was truly blessed with a warm summer in the great outdoors. Being outside is essential to both my healing and thriving, so I decided to get myself out for as many activities as possible. I started hiking again … Continue reading Mostly? Incredible Summer
Curiosity As A Priority
Truth be told, I have struggled with writing this blog post (the very reason this is now a month late). In the past, I have struggled with writing “progress” posts on my intentions because I have worried my level of progress has been minimal, and possibly it has been. The thing we, as humans, often … Continue reading Curiosity As A Priority
Mindfulness: The Dragon
Jack Kent wrote a book called There's No Such Thing as a Dragon, which illustrates the idea of noticing and allowing. One morning, a boy wakes up with a tiny dragon in his bedroom. When he tells his mother, she tells him "there is no such thing as dragons." The two proceed to go about … Continue reading Mindfulness: The Dragon
Question
"Was it rape?" "Can you clarify?" "[person's name]...the first time..." “Let’s process.” After skimming back through Amelia Zachry’s book, Enough: A Memoir of Mistakes, Mania, and Motherhood, I asked my therapist the above question early one Friday evening. The following Tuesday, I sat in my therapist's office feeling lightheaded, weak, and uncomfortable in my skin. … Continue reading Question
Mindfulness: Take Care of Yourself
Photo by Kuno Schweizer on Unsplash Too many times people know how to take care of themselves but don't, for whatever reason. Think about it for a minute. Or, here are some fill-in-the-blank sentences. (Note: these are three examples that I recently experienced). I am so tired, I need to lie down for a minute, … Continue reading Mindfulness: Take Care of Yourself
Enough
I think it was October of 2022 when I ordered a book called Enough: A Memoir of Mistakes, Mania, and Motherhood by Amelia Zachry. I started reading the book almost immediately after receiving it and sent Amelia a message about her story's impact and that I was gleaning so much from it. The more I read, the … Continue reading Enough
Mindfulness: Judgment
The definition of mindfulness, according to Jon Kabat-Zinn, is "paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally." The opposite of judgment is compassion. In my opinion, there are many roads that lead to compassion, but the one I am finding that has not failed me is the road of curiosity. Curiosity is a willingness … Continue reading Mindfulness: Judgment
Burn the Boat! 