When I was at Steps Recovery/Deer Hollow in Utah, part of the graduation process included having others in the house writing messages in a book you found meaningful. I chose More Beautiful Than Before by Steve Leder. Two of my favorite people in Utah desecrated the book by writing words that give me the heebie-jeebies. … Continue reading Grace to be Human
Courage
Twelve-Year-Old Party Game
My son is twelve years old, and if there is one thing I can say about the start of his 7th-grade year, it has been tough. I have struggled immensely with that. I want my son’s experience of school and friendship to be different from mine, and as he faces the trials he’s going through, … Continue reading Twelve-Year-Old Party Game
Perfect Storm at Ten Years Old
Photo by Kat Smith on Pexels.com Seven-year-old Becks has what she needed from the beginning. She has someone who will hold her hand, guide her out of the woods, protect her, and love her no matter what. With that love, safety, and compassion, she is free to heal. As was always the plan, I, the … Continue reading Perfect Storm at Ten Years Old
Help Climbing to the Platform
*Disclaimer: This is a personal exchange with a friend I met at PIW in the trauma center. I thought his courage in asking questions could help others, so I asked for and received permission to share the email conversation. Sharing your trauma narrative may or may not be something you need to do. It may … Continue reading Help Climbing to the Platform
Dear Little One
Dear Little One I didn't realize seven was so young, yet I saw the undeveloped mind of my own son and ferociously protected him, knowing he wasn't capable of protecting himself. I didn't remember how small 45 pounds/42 inches was until I took a second glance at all the kiddos walking down the sidewalk to … Continue reading Dear Little One
If Not Now, When?
If you read my blog regularly, you know I took a deep dive into trauma work. I wrote the details of what happened to face the pain head-on, and my therapist read most of it out loud--the rest silently. Since then, we have revisited the narrative. She has read the same couple of pages several … Continue reading If Not Now, When?
Ugly, Sticky, and Tangled
My therapist asked me how I wanted to focus my time. I chose to revisit the narrative I wrote, and I wanted my therapist to start at the beginning again. Something about the first two pages feels unresolved. Each time she read the pages out loud, I experienced the seemingly unbearable but expected feelings of … Continue reading Ugly, Sticky, and Tangled
Challenge By Choice Part 2
When I returned from Utah in 2021, I wrote a blog post called Challenge By Choice. In it, I wrote about the choices we, as a group from Annie's House, were given. Each person was challenged to decide what was best for themself: stay on the ground and cheer for others, climb any number of … Continue reading Challenge By Choice Part 2
The Words Not Spoken
I wouldn't say my graduate school experience was awful, but I wouldn't say my training was good either. I gained a lot of knowledge through books, but the majority of my clinical experience was more what not to do as a therapist. Two examples: One of my professors was unlicensed. Everyone was under the impression … Continue reading The Words Not Spoken
Out of the Woods
Sometimes, we get so caught up in something that seems important that we miss what IS important. We can't see the forest through the trees or the trees in the forest. I graduated from a private college with essentially two majors. One was counseling, and the other was theology. A good share of my core … Continue reading Out of the Woods
Burn the Boat! 