"What would life be like if [that one person] didn't still hold all the space in your life?" Dr. C. asked me to think about that question and write about it. I originally told her I have no imagination, and I was pretty sure, as I said that, that there was no way I would … Continue reading What Would Life Be Like?
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“Write About That”
Dr. C. ended our session by telling me to write about how I don't feel as though I deserve to feel upset about what happened because I "just need to take responsibility." So, I wrote about it for the next session. I wrote about it to better understand what I was experiencing and feeling. I … Continue reading “Write About That”
Dear Becks (Part 5)
This is probably the hardest letter to write, which makes sense why it's the last and almost didn't make the cut. It's not that I don't want to say a lot - or that I don't have A LOT ot say. It's that I don't know how to say it without sounding like I'm falling … Continue reading Dear Becks (Part 5)
Dear Becks (Part 4)
Several years ago, I wrote a brief narrative of what happened to me. From there, I had to find different statements that were "stuck points" and attempt to refute them. That was back when Dr. C. and I were attempting to use Cognitive Processing Therapy. It was kind of a crash-and-burn experience for me. Everything … Continue reading Dear Becks (Part 4)
Dear Becks (Part 3)
I've been sitting for a while now, trying to focus on writing this letter. I know you know what that is like. I remember you starting laundry, making dinner, and drinking two travel mugs of coffee every Friday night just to sit down and do your homework. There was something about how you couldn't relax … Continue reading Dear Becks (Part 3)
Dear Becks (Part 2)
Dear Becks I've been convinced for a very long time that you are the weakest person I know. I thought that you should've known better. You should've stopped the progression. You should've seen the red flags. You, of all people. I thought you already knew what it was like to be sexually abused and wouldn't … Continue reading Dear Becks (Part 2)
Running and Trauma Therapy
I ran cross country in high school. I didn't know how long the races were when I signed up. My brother came home on leave from the Air Force and told me it was 5 kilometers (3.1 miles) and that I should run with him. So, that is what I did. My first run was … Continue reading Running and Trauma Therapy
Challenge By Choice Part 2
When I returned from Utah in 2021, I wrote a blog post called Challenge By Choice. In it, I wrote about the choices we, as a group from Annie's House, were given. Each person was challenged to decide what was best for themself: stay on the ground and cheer for others, climb any number of … Continue reading Challenge By Choice Part 2
An Ah Ha Moment
In two specific situations I realized the outcome was different. My therapist asked me what the difference was. Here was my short journey with parts to communicate a trauma experience. Self-criticism is quick to respond with, "because I was an idiot in both situations, but I was a bigger idiot the first time." Self-criticism gave … Continue reading An Ah Ha Moment
Burn the Boat! 