I've been putting off talking with someone about something important to me. I imagine the other person doesn't want to hear it, and I think it will be challenging to say. Worse, I am imagining two things happening. One, this individual will get emotional. It's hard to handle other people's emotions, especially when you struggle … Continue reading The Difficult Conversations
IFS
Flawed but Beautiful
I've written about this before, but each time I process something, it has a new twist, a different flavor, and a different potency. That is why it is important for me (us) not to fall asleep when it comes to growth. When I was in high school, I could not see beauty. I wrote a … Continue reading Flawed but Beautiful
Choose Your Hard
When the going gets hard, get going. Like, run. Away. Now. That's what I say in my head a lot. A few short years ago, I used running to try to escape from myself. I had become too difficult to deal with and wanted nothing more than to be rid of myself. Suicide wasn't working; … Continue reading Choose Your Hard
An Ah Ha Moment
In two specific situations I realized the outcome was different. My therapist asked me what the difference was. Here was my short journey with parts to communicate a trauma experience. Self-criticism is quick to respond with, "because I was an idiot in both situations, but I was a bigger idiot the first time." Self-criticism gave … Continue reading An Ah Ha Moment
Let Me Disappoint You
I don't like to admit when I am struggling. Not anymore. I am afraid of disappointing people who have seen me do so well. And I hate when people remind me I shouldn't be in this place because I'm different from how I was several years ago. More capable. Healthier. It isn't that people shouldn't … Continue reading Let Me Disappoint You
Four: Contributions
I’m very behind in my writing prompts for the year, but I am doing better than last year. I first downloaded these prompts last year and never started. The reasons for not starting were plentiful, but what sticks out to me is the belief that I don’t have much to offer by way of understanding … Continue reading Four: Contributions
World’s End
First and foremost, you should know that this comes with a trigger warning. You will read this and feel things you DO NOT want to feel. You will read this and think things you DO NOT want to think. If you are ready for that on a personal and/or protective level, then please read. If … Continue reading World’s End
“Bump!”
Courage and Fear When my brother was in the military, just after 9/11, he stood on the coast of Djibouti with his commander. The commander pointed toward Yemen and discussed a larger mission. Essentially, my brother would be dropped off in the Middle East to work with locals to form their own army to fight … Continue reading “Bump!”
Curiosity As A Priority
Truth be told, I have struggled with writing this blog post (the very reason this is now a month late). In the past, I have struggled with writing “progress” posts on my intentions because I have worried my level of progress has been minimal, and possibly it has been. The thing we, as humans, often … Continue reading Curiosity As A Priority
Mindfulness: Judgment
The definition of mindfulness, according to Jon Kabat-Zinn, is "paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally." The opposite of judgment is compassion. In my opinion, there are many roads that lead to compassion, but the one I am finding that has not failed me is the road of curiosity. Curiosity is a willingness … Continue reading Mindfulness: Judgment
Burn the Boat! 