What's it like to sit next to someone you can't see? Not only can you not see them, but they aren't actually there, yet their presence is felt and very real. I sat hovering under a cloud of shame, attempting to stay present, as my therapist read only a small portion of my trauma narrative. … Continue reading Naive and Ill-Equiped
Internal Family Systems
Don’t Speak
Have you ever been moving along at a comfortable pace with no doubt about where you are headed and how to get there, only to fall into a raging river that carries you way off course? Me either. At least not literally. Figuratively, though, that's another story. What makes trauma worse? Silence. Throughout my life, … Continue reading Don’t Speak
Twelve-Year-Old Party Game
My son is twelve years old, and if there is one thing I can say about the start of his 7th-grade year, it has been tough. I have struggled immensely with that. I want my son’s experience of school and friendship to be different from mine, and as he faces the trials he’s going through, … Continue reading Twelve-Year-Old Party Game
Perfect Storm at Ten Years Old
Photo by Kat Smith on Pexels.com Seven-year-old Becks has what she needed from the beginning. She has someone who will hold her hand, guide her out of the woods, protect her, and love her no matter what. With that love, safety, and compassion, she is free to heal. As was always the plan, I, the … Continue reading Perfect Storm at Ten Years Old
Help Climbing to the Platform
*Disclaimer: This is a personal exchange with a friend I met at PIW in the trauma center. I thought his courage in asking questions could help others, so I asked for and received permission to share the email conversation. Sharing your trauma narrative may or may not be something you need to do. It may … Continue reading Help Climbing to the Platform
Dear Little One
Dear Little One I didn't realize seven was so young, yet I saw the undeveloped mind of my own son and ferociously protected him, knowing he wasn't capable of protecting himself. I didn't remember how small 45 pounds/42 inches was until I took a second glance at all the kiddos walking down the sidewalk to … Continue reading Dear Little One
If Not Now, When?
If you read my blog regularly, you know I took a deep dive into trauma work. I wrote the details of what happened to face the pain head-on, and my therapist read most of it out loud--the rest silently. Since then, we have revisited the narrative. She has read the same couple of pages several … Continue reading If Not Now, When?
Challenge By Choice Part 2
When I returned from Utah in 2021, I wrote a blog post called Challenge By Choice. In it, I wrote about the choices we, as a group from Annie's House, were given. Each person was challenged to decide what was best for themself: stay on the ground and cheer for others, climb any number of … Continue reading Challenge By Choice Part 2
Out of the Woods
Sometimes, we get so caught up in something that seems important that we miss what IS important. We can't see the forest through the trees or the trees in the forest. I graduated from a private college with essentially two majors. One was counseling, and the other was theology. A good share of my core … Continue reading Out of the Woods
The Difficult Conversations
I've been putting off talking with someone about something important to me. I imagine the other person doesn't want to hear it, and I think it will be challenging to say. Worse, I am imagining two things happening. One, this individual will get emotional. It's hard to handle other people's emotions, especially when you struggle … Continue reading The Difficult Conversations
Burn the Boat! 