I woke up in a cold sweat. My heart wasn't pounding as it normally does when I have a nightmare. No, it was actually quite slow, and my breathing was shallow. This happens sometimes, usually when I am frozen in my dream. This wasn't directly a trauma dream that I was frozen in though. I … Continue reading But I’m Proud of Myself
Mindfulness
Three Days
Trauma recovery and healing are not for the faint of heart. If trauma itself infiltrates every part of your day, your being, and your relationships, guess what? So does healing. And that is tough. It isn't meant to be a form of torture, but it can feel that way. Furthermore, retraumatization is possible, but it … Continue reading Three Days
Running and Trauma Therapy
I ran cross country in high school. I didn't know how long the races were when I signed up. My brother came home on leave from the Air Force and told me it was 5 kilometers (3.1 miles) and that I should run with him. So, that is what I did. My first run was … Continue reading Running and Trauma Therapy
Mindfulness and Feedback Loops
I adopted the practice of mindfulness meditation several years ago when I needed a way to transform the battle of pain, stress, and turmoil into a simple awareness that comes and goes (I’m still a work in progress). The key to mindfulness meditation is “simply” allowing the experiences we encounter without judgment, which is also … Continue reading Mindfulness and Feedback Loops
Curiosity As A Priority
Truth be told, I have struggled with writing this blog post (the very reason this is now a month late). In the past, I have struggled with writing “progress” posts on my intentions because I have worried my level of progress has been minimal, and possibly it has been. The thing we, as humans, often … Continue reading Curiosity As A Priority
Mindfulness: Connection
In the seventh week of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction course that I participated in, I noticed heavy emotions and a sense of my body collapsing around itself; by that, I mean I shrunk down as small as I could, involuntarily. I was struggling. I also felt connected. It may seem to make no sense that … Continue reading Mindfulness: Connection
Mindfulness: The Dragon
Jack Kent wrote a book called There's No Such Thing as a Dragon, which illustrates the idea of noticing and allowing. One morning, a boy wakes up with a tiny dragon in his bedroom. When he tells his mother, she tells him "there is no such thing as dragons." The two proceed to go about … Continue reading Mindfulness: The Dragon
Mindfulness: Take Care of Yourself
Photo by Kuno Schweizer on Unsplash Too many times people know how to take care of themselves but don't, for whatever reason. Think about it for a minute. Or, here are some fill-in-the-blank sentences. (Note: these are three examples that I recently experienced). I am so tired, I need to lie down for a minute, … Continue reading Mindfulness: Take Care of Yourself
Mindfulness: Judgment
The definition of mindfulness, according to Jon Kabat-Zinn, is "paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally." The opposite of judgment is compassion. In my opinion, there are many roads that lead to compassion, but the one I am finding that has not failed me is the road of curiosity. Curiosity is a willingness … Continue reading Mindfulness: Judgment
Mindfulness: Don’t Look Away
Not two months after being released from the Trauma Institute at the Psychological Institute of Washington (D.C.) my brother passed away suddenly. About a week before he passed away, he had called me to chat. I let it go to voicemail but called back later. He didn't answer, so I left him a voicemail message … Continue reading Mindfulness: Don’t Look Away
Burn the Boat! 