Photo by Zachary DeBottis on Pexels.com I had entered the twilight stage. I wasn't asleep, but I wasn't awake; I was in a dreamlike state, and my mind was creating a story that I now know wasn't true but felt very real at the time. Actually, I don't know that I remember what this "dream" … Continue reading It’s Only April
process
Three > Thirty
Three (3) years. Thirty-six (36) months. One hundred fifty-six (156) weeks. One thousand ninety-five (1,095) days. Twenty-six thousand two hundred ninety-eight (26,289) hours. One million five hundred seventy-six thousand eight hundred (1,576,800) minutes. Ninety-four million six hundred eight thousand (94,608,000) seconds. This is how long it has been since I have self-harmed. Three years out … Continue reading Three > Thirty
Question
"Was it rape?" "Can you clarify?" "[person's name]...the first time..." “Let’s process.” After skimming back through Amelia Zachry’s book, Enough: A Memoir of Mistakes, Mania, and Motherhood, I asked my therapist the above question early one Friday evening. The following Tuesday, I sat in my therapist's office feeling lightheaded, weak, and uncomfortable in my skin. … Continue reading Question
Life Is Messy
It happens to everyone, I am quite sure. The inability to think not just linearly but with any sort of focus. I have gone through these phases probably most noticeable to others when I am depressed or physically off - maybe, or generally, a combination of both. The perfect people out there may only notice … Continue reading Life Is Messy