Trauma recovery and healing are not for the faint of heart. If trauma itself infiltrates every part of your day, your being, and your relationships, guess what? So does healing. And that is tough. It isn't meant to be a form of torture, but it can feel that way. Furthermore, retraumatization is possible, but it … Continue reading Three Days
recovery
Burning the Boat of Secrecy
Sitting with thoughts and feelings is often harder than I'd like it to be, and I don't think I am unique in my experience. But spending years ignoring those thoughts and feelings hasn't served me well. In fact, it has left me lying in bed countless nights, willing myself to fall asleep but feeling a … Continue reading Burning the Boat of Secrecy
The ReWrite (Part 2)
Back in the end of May, I wrote about what it was like to rewrite part of my trauma narrative. I had only written what I would consider the first half as it included my experience as an 8-year-old, 10-year-old, and 13-year-old. It was only a few days later that I worked on and completed … Continue reading The ReWrite (Part 2)
The Rewrite (Part 1)
Dr. C. asked if she could have my narrative. I searched through my bag, pulled out my portable keyboard case, unzipped it, and found the folded and worn blue legal pad pages. I carefully pulled them out and leaned forward, arm extended to pass them to her. This was the next step we had been … Continue reading The Rewrite (Part 1)
Running and Trauma Therapy
I ran cross country in high school. I didn't know how long the races were when I signed up. My brother came home on leave from the Air Force and told me it was 5 kilometers (3.1 miles) and that I should run with him. So, that is what I did. My first run was … Continue reading Running and Trauma Therapy
Blue-Eyed, Mischievously Grinning Asshole
I am currently reading a book written by a therapist. Two nights ago, I couldn't put the book down. One chapter led to another and another. I didn't realize that the book was divided into five stories, each of a particular client that embodied something the therapist respected. So, I found myself staying up to … Continue reading Blue-Eyed, Mischievously Grinning Asshole
…Sit With Her (Part 2)
Photo by Noe De Angelis on Pexels.com Picture a knot. A large ball of heavy rope, rotted and fraying, swollen by moisture and mildew, but dried by the baking sun, bonded together from years of misguided attempts to unwind it. Now, hold that picture in your mind. "You don't need a padded room. You just … Continue reading …Sit With Her (Part 2)
You Don’t Need a Padded Room…(Part 1)
"How are you feeling about the 25-year-old?""I feel sad for her, and I feel compassion." "Are you ready to continue the narrative?" "What I said on Tuesday holds true. I am terrified to face what is on the remaining pages of the narrative. I know what is next, and I don't know if I can … Continue reading You Don’t Need a Padded Room…(Part 1)
Grace to be Human
When I was at Steps Recovery/Deer Hollow in Utah, part of the graduation process included having others in the house writing messages in a book you found meaningful. I chose More Beautiful Than Before by Steve Leder. Two of my favorite people in Utah desecrated the book by writing words that give me the heebie-jeebies. … Continue reading Grace to be Human
Challenge By Choice Part 2
When I returned from Utah in 2021, I wrote a blog post called Challenge By Choice. In it, I wrote about the choices we, as a group from Annie's House, were given. Each person was challenged to decide what was best for themself: stay on the ground and cheer for others, climb any number of … Continue reading Challenge By Choice Part 2
Burn the Boat! 