This is my apology to you all. I started writing for myself several years ago, but I also wanted to maybe bring hope to someone else. If you want to stay in that hopeful place, stop reading this now. Close the window, and keep doing your work. If you choose not to close the window … Continue reading I’m Sorry
suicide
What Would Life Be Like?
"What would life be like if [that one person] didn't still hold all the space in your life?" Dr. C. asked me to think about that question and write about it. I originally told her I have no imagination, and I was pretty sure, as I said that, that there was no way I would … Continue reading What Would Life Be Like?
Dear Becks (Part 3)
I've been sitting for a while now, trying to focus on writing this letter. I know you know what that is like. I remember you starting laundry, making dinner, and drinking two travel mugs of coffee every Friday night just to sit down and do your homework. There was something about how you couldn't relax … Continue reading Dear Becks (Part 3)
Dear Becks (Part 2)
Dear Becks I've been convinced for a very long time that you are the weakest person I know. I thought that you should've known better. You should've stopped the progression. You should've seen the red flags. You, of all people. I thought you already knew what it was like to be sexually abused and wouldn't … Continue reading Dear Becks (Part 2)
The Rewrite (Part 1)
Dr. C. asked if she could have my narrative. I searched through my bag, pulled out my portable keyboard case, unzipped it, and found the folded and worn blue legal pad pages. I carefully pulled them out and leaned forward, arm extended to pass them to her. This was the next step we had been … Continue reading The Rewrite (Part 1)
Choose Your Hard
When the going gets hard, get going. Like, run. Away. Now. That's what I say in my head a lot. A few short years ago, I used running to try to escape from myself. I had become too difficult to deal with and wanted nothing more than to be rid of myself. Suicide wasn't working; … Continue reading Choose Your Hard
Curiosity As A Priority
Truth be told, I have struggled with writing this blog post (the very reason this is now a month late). In the past, I have struggled with writing “progress” posts on my intentions because I have worried my level of progress has been minimal, and possibly it has been. The thing we, as humans, often … Continue reading Curiosity As A Priority
Suicide
In February, I read David Foster Wallace’s commencement speech at Kenyon College, entitled This is Water. Wallace told a story at the beginning of the book about two fish that were swimming along when they passed an older fish. The older fish said, “how’s the water?” The two other fish questioned each other about what … Continue reading Suicide
Burn the Boat! 