I want to share two things with my readers. The first is something I learned about myself that is likely true of you, whether you realize it or not. The second is something that I experienced in my therapy session that will maybe make us both feel a little more normal by my sharing it. … Continue reading 2 Truths About Trauma Therapy
Author: becksnelson
Blue-Eyed, Mischievously Grinning Asshole
I am currently reading a book written by a therapist. Two nights ago, I couldn't put the book down. One chapter led to another and another. I didn't realize that the book was divided into five stories, each of a particular client that embodied something the therapist respected. So, I found myself staying up to … Continue reading Blue-Eyed, Mischievously Grinning Asshole
…Sit With Her (Part 2)
Photo by Noe De Angelis on Pexels.com Picture a knot. A large ball of heavy rope, rotted and fraying, swollen by moisture and mildew, but dried by the baking sun, bonded together from years of misguided attempts to unwind it. Now, hold that picture in your mind. "You don't need a padded room. You just … Continue reading …Sit With Her (Part 2)
You Don’t Need a Padded Room…(Part 1)
"How are you feeling about the 25-year-old?""I feel sad for her, and I feel compassion." "Are you ready to continue the narrative?" "What I said on Tuesday holds true. I am terrified to face what is on the remaining pages of the narrative. I know what is next, and I don't know if I can … Continue reading You Don’t Need a Padded Room…(Part 1)
The White House
"How are you feeling about the 25-year-old?" - Dr. C. That was the lead-in question. That question determines whether or not I am in Self. If I am not, there is absolutely no way we are reading the narrative. If I am, we move forward. I was feeling mad, but it wasn't directed toward the … Continue reading The White House
Naive and Ill-Equiped
What's it like to sit next to someone you can't see? Not only can you not see them, but they aren't actually there, yet their presence is felt and very real. I sat hovering under a cloud of shame, attempting to stay present, as my therapist read only a small portion of my trauma narrative. … Continue reading Naive and Ill-Equiped
Don’t Speak
Have you ever been moving along at a comfortable pace with no doubt about where you are headed and how to get there, only to fall into a raging river that carries you way off course? Me either. At least not literally. Figuratively, though, that's another story. What makes trauma worse? Silence. Throughout my life, … Continue reading Don’t Speak
Grace to be Human
When I was at Steps Recovery/Deer Hollow in Utah, part of the graduation process included having others in the house writing messages in a book you found meaningful. I chose More Beautiful Than Before by Steve Leder. Two of my favorite people in Utah desecrated the book by writing words that give me the heebie-jeebies. … Continue reading Grace to be Human
Twelve-Year-Old Party Game
My son is twelve years old, and if there is one thing I can say about the start of his 7th-grade year, it has been tough. I have struggled immensely with that. I want my son’s experience of school and friendship to be different from mine, and as he faces the trials he’s going through, … Continue reading Twelve-Year-Old Party Game
Perfect Storm at Ten Years Old
Photo by Kat Smith on Pexels.com Seven-year-old Becks has what she needed from the beginning. She has someone who will hold her hand, guide her out of the woods, protect her, and love her no matter what. With that love, safety, and compassion, she is free to heal. As was always the plan, I, the … Continue reading Perfect Storm at Ten Years Old
Burn the Boat! 