*Disclaimer: This is a personal exchange with a friend I met at PIW in the trauma center. I thought his courage in asking questions could help others, so I asked for and received permission to share the email conversation. Sharing your trauma narrative may or may not be something you need to do. It may … Continue reading Help Climbing to the Platform
mental health
Ugly, Sticky, and Tangled
My therapist asked me how I wanted to focus my time. I chose to revisit the narrative I wrote, and I wanted my therapist to start at the beginning again. Something about the first two pages feels unresolved. Each time she read the pages out loud, I experienced the seemingly unbearable but expected feelings of … Continue reading Ugly, Sticky, and Tangled
Navigating Complex Emotions
Emotions are complicated, and many of us have an equally complicated relationship with them; I know I do. I'm afraid of having emotions, being overwhelmed by emotions, not being able to control the intensity of the emotions or stop them when necessary, and being seen as emotional rather than logical. I don't think having emotions … Continue reading Navigating Complex Emotions
Challenge By Choice Part 2
When I returned from Utah in 2021, I wrote a blog post called Challenge By Choice. In it, I wrote about the choices we, as a group from Annie's House, were given. Each person was challenged to decide what was best for themself: stay on the ground and cheer for others, climb any number of … Continue reading Challenge By Choice Part 2
The Words Not Spoken
I wouldn't say my graduate school experience was awful, but I wouldn't say my training was good either. I gained a lot of knowledge through books, but the majority of my clinical experience was more what not to do as a therapist. Two examples: One of my professors was unlicensed. Everyone was under the impression … Continue reading The Words Not Spoken
The Difficult Conversations
I've been putting off talking with someone about something important to me. I imagine the other person doesn't want to hear it, and I think it will be challenging to say. Worse, I am imagining two things happening. One, this individual will get emotional. It's hard to handle other people's emotions, especially when you struggle … Continue reading The Difficult Conversations
An Ah Ha Moment
In two specific situations I realized the outcome was different. My therapist asked me what the difference was. Here was my short journey with parts to communicate a trauma experience. Self-criticism is quick to respond with, "because I was an idiot in both situations, but I was a bigger idiot the first time." Self-criticism gave … Continue reading An Ah Ha Moment
It’s Only April
Photo by Zachary DeBottis on Pexels.com I had entered the twilight stage. I wasn't asleep, but I wasn't awake; I was in a dreamlike state, and my mind was creating a story that I now know wasn't true but felt very real at the time. Actually, I don't know that I remember what this "dream" … Continue reading It’s Only April
Let Me Disappoint You
I don't like to admit when I am struggling. Not anymore. I am afraid of disappointing people who have seen me do so well. And I hate when people remind me I shouldn't be in this place because I'm different from how I was several years ago. More capable. Healthier. It isn't that people shouldn't … Continue reading Let Me Disappoint You
Mindfulness and Feedback Loops
I adopted the practice of mindfulness meditation several years ago when I needed a way to transform the battle of pain, stress, and turmoil into a simple awareness that comes and goes (I’m still a work in progress). The key to mindfulness meditation is “simply” allowing the experiences we encounter without judgment, which is also … Continue reading Mindfulness and Feedback Loops
Burn the Boat! 