Photo by Cyrus Crossan on Unsplash   1.  I was informed I was discharging from the Psychological Institute of Washington the day after I communicated with staff that I was planning to hurt myself. I felt fear and anxiety but lashed out in anger, turning it toward myself. I began hurting myself and trying to kick … Continue reading Progress, Not Perfection: 25 Telephone Poles

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash   I once wrote a suicide note. Only once. I have no idea what it said, but I know it was probably very conventional. "I love you. I'm sorry. It's not your fault." It probably had no address. I doubt I wrote, "Dear Tim and Ian." That was in … Continue reading What If This Is A Suicide Note?

Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash I am not a fine wine, craft beer, or perfectly aged whiskey. No, I am Prohibition Moonshine. Wine, craft beer, and perfectly aged whiskey have something in common. They have years of developing and perfecting flavor; top of the line production equipment; and knowledgeable Oenologists, brewers, and Maltmen or … Continue reading I am Prohibition Moonshine

I am going to need some grace on this. There is a concept known by many, and it has a few names. Probably the less abrasive one is Brene Brown's idea of foreboding joy. Everything is going really well, and fear strikes because you just know that something bad is going to follow; probably soon. … Continue reading I Should Have Chosen Kegel's

I was reading a book the other day about resilience and the factors involved in becoming resilient. As a matter of fact, the book is called Resilience. One of the factors that the authors discussed was looking for meaning in difficult situations. Probably the most resilient person I have ever read about to date is Viktor … Continue reading "Tha, tha, that's OK…I came in."

Photo by Joseph Akbrud on Unsplash While I was in the hospital, I thought about three different responses that people had in specific situations. I wrote about these responses in a journal given to me by the staff in the hospital and decided to share. 1. Listen to what someone is asking for and provide … Continue reading Hospital Reactions

Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash On another occasion, I had collected brush from around the farm in an effort to clean up the apple and apricot orchards. It was dry brush; perfect for a family campfire. A little newspaper at the bottom of the twigs and larger sticks and limbs at the top made … Continue reading Why Now?

Photo by jurien huggins on Unsplash There are two very important people responsible for the discovery of Kevin on Unit A4. Their names have been changed to protect their privacy. Karl spent much of his time throughout the day sleeping. He did not sleep well at night and struggled tremendously to have clear thoughts that … Continue reading Kevin: A4 Bad Ass

It has been a really long time since I watched the movie Castaway, but I know Tom Hanks was on a plane that crashed, leaving him the lone survivor on a deserted island. He befriended a volleyball, which he called Wilson, and he spoke with it as though attempting to hang on to sanity while … Continue reading How to Flood Unit A4 With Style

In 1998 I went to a summer camp in Northern Michigan where I tried a rope course for the very first time. The camp counselors running the course asked me to think about one thing that I wanted to do in my life that would take courage. Once I chose that one thing, I was … Continue reading 180 BPM: Embrace the Suck