A lot of people I know set New Year’s resolutions. Resolutions are easy to make and easy to break, so I set an intention for 2019. It isn’t about trying so much as making the effort, and yes, there is a difference. Trying allows for failure or quitting. Making an effort is just that, making an effort. There is no failure if I do what I say I will do.
This year my effort will be spent on a journey toward something incredible. I believe there is a succession of self. There is grace, acceptance, and then worth. In this chain I will be making an effort to see myself with the same grace and kindness that I see other people.
I have been working toward seeing myself as I am. My intelligence, my humor, and my style of interacting with myself and others from the time I was young. I have been taking a good, hard look at my mistakes as well as the things I do well. What I see, I do not like. I have this innate disgust for the choices I have made in life. But that isn’t the point. The point is I am making an effort to see myself honestly. The beautiful and ugly. And give myself grace for both. To be kind. This year I just want to be kind to myself.
Honestly, I am sitting here thinking about how uncomfortably overweight I feel while I drink cold coffee and refuse to eat breakfast. This is going to be a tough intention to work through, but honesty about this intention and where I am will allow others to push me and call me out when I need it.
So, I have an intention set for you as well. I ask that you make an effort to help me be kind to myself. Ask me what I did for myself recently. Ask me about my thoughts about myself. Ask me about God’s view of me.
It is so much easier see others with grace and kindness because I know how God sees them. I do not see myself the way God sees me though. I see this muddy, rusty piece of junk laying on the side of the road, completely undesirable.
I am seeking to see myself the way God sees me. It’s about making an effort. An effort toward kindness and grace.