I mentioned in a previous post that I set an intention for 2019 to treat myself with kindness and grace as I grow to understand more about myself and the decisions I have made and continue to make. This will not be an easy challenge, but it is only the beginning of a journey I … Continue reading Worth and Love

A lot of people I know set New Year's resolutions. Resolutions are easy to make and easy to break, so I set an intention for 2019. It isn't about trying so much as making the effort, and yes, there is a difference. Trying allows for failure or quitting. Making an effort is just that, making … Continue reading Making an Effort

Sometimes I have conversations in my head that I should not have out loud. It may seem at times like a critical voice, but in reality it is just a general editor. When people say things that do not make sense, I tend to reword their sentences quietly. When people say a word incorrectly, I … Continue reading The Voice in My Head

My Father-in-law and I were talking about coffee the other day. We established that a good cup of coffee starts out strong and bitter with the first couple sips. If it starts out that way, by the next few sips it begins to taste perfect.  Strong but the kind of sensation that gives you chills … Continue reading Cup of Coffee

I have been reading a few different books about trauma: Neurobiology and the Treatment of Traumatic Dissociation and The Body Keeps the Score. Both books discuss the components of trauma and post traumatic stress disorder, the process occurring in the brain of someone with trauma and dissociative tendencies, and treatment of this difficult diagnosis. Picture … Continue reading Complex PTSD

Maybe I should take inventory every day of my blessings and the things I am thankful for, but since it is the season of thanksgiving I have been reflecting a little extra. It has been difficult this year as it has the past several years. In 2016 I didn't even spend Thanksgiving at home. I … Continue reading Thankful?

In high school I ran cross-country and track and played soccer. My perfectionistic tendencies made me as good as I was. I worked hard and played harder. By the start of high school I had always dreamed of playing soccer but never had the opportunity. When tryouts started I was recovering from ankle surgery the … Continue reading Never Enough

During the most difficult time of year, the coldest months, some animals hibernate. Bats hibernate in the winter by finding an abandoned area and going into a state of torpor. This is where most bodily functions are slowed down to help them regulate their temperature. They can drop their heart rate down to as low … Continue reading Hibernation

In 1980, Coach Herb Brooks led the U.S. hockey team to a victory over the seemingly unbeatable Russian team. In the movie Miracle, Herb pushes his team to trust the process and each other by repeatedly having them skate sprints after a tough loss. This was to teach them they could work together, trust each … Continue reading Trust the Process

Heart disease is sometimes very subtle. It might start out with mild shortness of breath and fatigue that goes mostly unnoticed. I see a cardiologist once a year because of a medication I am on that can cause cardiomyopathy, or a hardening of the heart making it difficult for the heart to pump oxygenated blood … Continue reading When Shame Wins